MLJ from Cleveland Asks:

QUESTION: "Hots"? What is that, a British thing?
ANSWER: Yes, and it's a crazy British thing at that. A little-known fact of etymological history is that the British, while basically inventors of the English language, are also insane. The American Revolution was based only partly on "no taxation without representation" and all that. What our Founding Fathers were really worried about was having to speak like these nutjobs for the next few centuries.

Actual quote from Tom Paine: "When I piss, I use a chamber pot, dammit, not a loo."

Further, the Shot Heard 'Round the World came from the American side, and it was predicated on a Brit saying, "You can knock me down with a kipper if I'm tellin' yer porkies Missus!" The Yankee, having no clue what the cockney imperialist said but taking it for an insult, shot him dead. Which started the war, which eventually led to America celebrating its bounty of freedoms every Fourth of July.

So when you sing the National Anthem as the fireworks explode and bald eagles fly above you this Fourth, give thanks also for your freedom to speak beautiful, pure American English.